Customer Service

Have any questions for us? Contact lemonbiscuittaco@gmail.com, or call us at (###) ###-####!

Planning to give us a call? Our customer service staff are always available and guaranteed to assist you with any questions, problems or complaints you have. To make the process extra simple, be ready to get transferred about 10 times on the phone, each transfer with a wait time of around 2 hours. Too long? Don't worry! You will have the privilege of listening to Taco Bob's personal playlist, "it's raining tacos for 24+ hours", during your wait time. It will be sure to drive you mad, and soon you'll be too busy raving to think about how many hours you've wasted. Our all-new in-built AI voice system, whose favorite line is "sorry, I didn't get that", will also be there to assist you every step of the way!

If you are reaching out by email, you still won't be missing out on our high-tech AI! With exactly one automated email, sent to any and all requests, you can find yourself sobbing in despair with how incredibly vague it is. This is all done to make your life easier, of course; crying is a healthy coping mechanism.

If you manage to break through the horde of robotic emails, we have implemented a function to make communication even more crystal clear. To avoid confusion if you receive a reply that says "We threw bourbon under the table, didn't we?", we would like to properly introduce this system. Your email will be Google Translated 50 times before we read it, and our reply will again be translated 50 times before it is sent. This way, it doesn't matter if you speak English, Chinese, or Klingon; everyone will be bamboozled! If Google Translate's inability to form coherent sentences frustrates you, do not fear. The language of translation will soon possess your very mind. Once you have been converted, you will find yourself to be a much more peculiar and puzzling character. How mystifying! (Disclaimer: This also comes with significantly lower grades and less friends.) Perhaps then, you will find yourself seeking consolation in our cult expanding business. You are but a pawn in my plan for world domination. A speck of dust compared to the omnipotent taco. Thank you for reaching out to Lemon Biscuit Taco Co.!