Job Offers

Personal Slave - $0 per hour

Since we are such generous people, we love serving others, aka people serving us. In that case, if you would like to serve us generous and kind people, please sign up by clicking this link. If in any case, you are trying to find money, this is not the right place for you, since we will offer no money. In the case you are trying to find a new iPad, there are tons of fake iPads in the trash can, where it is a cardboard screen with the Apple icon taped to the back, to prove how rich we are. In addition to serving as a person slave for $0 per hour, every single day you will get a beating using a whip used by many famous horses that are found dead because of this whip.

Thank you for signing up!

Personal Bridge

Since we always find trouble crossing a 1cm wide river, we are hiring people to be our personal bridge. With a comfortable environment on being stepped on in the wild, we offer this job with high intelligence. Instead of making it free, we could ask you to pay us to help. It is a win-win situation, considering the fact that I get you as a personal bridge, and you have to pay me. Just lie down whenever we ask you to, and you will be safe from the bucket of lava we carry around!

Click here to sign up

Thank you for signing up!

Pyramid of Giza Builder

We absolutely have no need for this, but if you apply for this job, you will be forced to work with the other Egyptian slaves we caught with a pokeball. If you would like to sign up for this job, please click on this link.

Are you sure this is safe?

Yes, this is no only safe, but efficient too! Since we are hiring more than one person, we will force that person to bring in their family, making the process more safe and efficient. Those who are reluctant to bring in their family will be shot, if we were not safe, why would be bring a bucket of lava everywhere?

Should I Join?

Of course you should join! In addition to having no food and water at any costs, you will also be suffocated and starved, then being blamed at for suicidal thoughts. Also, you would be receiving physical abuse by sand and squirrels. But the best part is, you will have to live with a rat dog who will bite everything, demolish your existence itself, and drench you in saliva. What a deal!

Should my friends join?

It is your decision. In fact we do not care about your decision so stop asking these dumb questions. If you don't join, you will know what happens next.

Common questions

Grammar assisstant

" Wait, did you download frammarly yet?" Asked the owner.

" No, I am your personal grammar assasin" The grammar dude said

" YOU GOT THE SPELLING WRONG, ITME FOR UR DEATH!" the owner screamed.

In this job offer, you will be awarded nothing in return for a correction of grammar. Apart from correcting sentences that are barely grammatically correct, you will be forced to rewrite everything until it is at college level. You will have to write 1 million pages of a book, and when it is published, then you will receive your extremely fair paycheck. Basically, you are a full-time author and you help make money. You will be an assistant, and you totally will not writing your own book.

Ask the owner questions, or chat to your friends about the great experience!

Personal article writer

The fun has only begun, dear writers. We all understand that quality is over quantity, but how do we define quantity? Is it the amount of words? The amount of pages? Being as caring as we always are, we define quantity to be the amount of blood coming out form your hands. Instead of typing with the millions of computer we have in the stockhouse, which we will then feed to the pigs, we will offer you wooden pencils to write with, in which everyday you will have to kindly donate 50 grams of blood that comes from writing epic stories which we will also feed to the pigs. Some of them are an exception, as being very kind and nice people, we will donate poisonous blood to patients who are willing to accept this great deal/gift!

You can also buy the package- family and friends version!

A) $90129847102938471249134 dollars. You pay us, of course.

B)$937846q2389746q23987469q283746q9238467q9723486 You pay us again.

Personal paper producer

Ever thought of the question, when is paper produced, and how it is produced? Well, introducing the personal paper maker! And to clarify the questions of those who are asking, a personal paper maker is not one who will volunteer to make paper, but instead shed their skin at the equidistant and medial of midnight, making paper, by donating to the trees. After they shed their skin to the trees, we will find someone to donate the skin to exchange for paper, what a great deal for the both of us. In addition to shaving their skin, hair is not allowed. Lunch breaks from 8:52-8:53, air is out from 8-11, no water, no food and breaks for the rest of the day.

Personal air producer

You must produce air to save planet earth, otherwise, why would planet earth live? In order to produce air, you need to live underground and swim to meet Fred the Fish, the holy fish that produced oxygen. After he gives you a can of oxygen, throw it in the ocean, polluting the ocean with the can, making Fred the Fish die and therefore having more oxygen :)

click this link to sigh up

Personal air remover

Fred the fish

Personal air posioner

Syntax Error : Error code " No job decription added to this context" Syntax error " Too lazy to type anything" Beep boop beep boop " All details hidden, I mean not shown for public purposes" Beeo boop boop beep wowo tico bibs.

Are you yanfei?

Every feel very yanfeiy, then click on this link to take the quiz!

https://forms.gle/MipEMkmgXELC7vUs6

Ever wonder where you will be kidnapped to work at? Well, here is an interactive map to show you where you wil lbe heading on your next vacation. Although this might seem as if it is a zoom in work of China, you will be sent to Africa, where the tribes who hunt people down for their bones, and use it for a candy cane for children.

We will ensure your safety for you company

To end this job offer section, we have a google sheets of al the people we caught with a pokemon ball to enslave for work! make sure to add your name for 1 dolla discount from ur paycheck. Also make sure to chat with other players in the job game.

Bob chang: Yo I love this job offer, these job sure are high qualitu jobs! Their paycheck is so good, I would never want to stop working for themmm.

Anthony Marng: I love those jobo ffers, in addition to getting beaten almost to death, I signed up for the freelance writing job, and how my fingers and bleed to death. I can't beieve how generous they are, donating my blood with posiion to the people in need. I want to be like them!

Madison YUHH: No, you can't be like them. They are far better than you, since they added poison to the people who need it bruh. My name is Madison YUHH, I love to say BRUhUhUhUh.

Yanfei Yarn: I took the Yanfei quiz as the advertiseement, and got 4/4, meaning that I am yanfei. IDK what at the bottom of the screen it says " You are invited to join job as personal paper producer," But by the sounds of that, I love it!

Brackie Poo: I am brackie, a brown poo.

Lemonbiscuit:Slayyyyyy I lov killingpigs from commercial fishing and farming!

Ur Mom Xiao: Dude bros, I got signed up in a tournament on who can offer most skin and blood to people, and the fored me to make my family participate. I love this free competition and also the participation and effort being put into this, a solid 10/10!!!

Spirle Thingy q12-5.ong I am totally not a download from a folder in lemonbiscuits tab. Hor as Hor, but whore as HOr

I like mittens.com : Hehehe

Lemonbiscuits 4 life : My family was being forced to be in an airline, and now they are forced to be in the competition. I fee so greateful to encounter this site, so grateful indeed!

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse